Obagyaru Meet #2 [Photo Dump]

I was on an indefinite hiatus, but this time it was mandatory to make sure I could recover from burnout. However, I promised myself to stop being flaky with IRL friends, so I am trying my best to keep up and plan more outings. 

I have two new gal friends from my town! They are Godsent for sure! We call ourselves obagyaru because we're the oldest in the local community. 

We went to Tea N More, which we want to turn into "our" spot! We all agree we need third spaces. 

I took my sister with me, and we ate some takoballs (lol sounds funnier that way). I also brought my son, Switch, and some Popteen mags!

Me waiting for Ning and Melly! BTW Ning made a blog, so excited to read her! I'm harassing pushing ppl into opening their own blogs and ditching SNS!

We all got food and a drink, but the cheesy fries were too cheesy, so my stomach killed me a bit afterwards (ಥ﹏ಥ)

I tried to help Melly with her makeup, but I feel like my attempt was not good :( Next time we promised to bring more makeup and stuff to go all in! 

My make for the date!

I also got new pressons (´ ∀ ` *)

We looked so cute! Even for a casual weekday meet! 

I really loved our outfits!

I hope we get to do more casual hangouts for sure! I also wish for our group to grow and keep the good vibes going ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆

The Burnt Diaries-Decluttering Craze

It has been over a year since I moved in with my partner, and I now know that I was chasing the wrong goal.

I tend to be the one who takes care of the home, and he fills in some financial extras we may need. I am not necessarily okay with this being the way forever, but for now I can take charge of how I want my place to look. The truth is a lot of the crap that has been accumulated is mine. He has stated several times that we do have too much crap, so I am finally listening.

This is my first time living completely independently and in partnership, so I want to take control and curate my life for a better future.

We got a storage locker downstairs in the communal garage, so we are taking advantage of it. For now, since I'm too embarrassed to share my place's current state, I just wanted to share the inspo first and my plan.

The place is small, but I am not sure why I struggle so much. I used to be able to clean around the same number of rooms when I had roomies. I want my collection to appear purposeful, not like a hot mess. I'm a gyaru and a maximalist at heart, but how does one make it all work together?

First stage, before I go on a spending spree, I am following some basic ground rules.

Core decision rules (I asked Claude, but it's a good starting point).

1. The One-Year Rule: Haven't used, worn, or touched it in 12 months (and it's not seasonal/sentimental)? It goes.
2. The One-In-One-Out Rule: New item comes in, an old one of the same category goes out. Keeps totals from creeping back up.
3. The "Would I Buy This Again?" Test: If you saw it in a store today, would you pay for it again? No = let it go.
4. The Duplicate Rule: Keep the best version of anything you own multiples of (mugs, chargers, tools), donate/toss the rest.
5. The Maybe Box: Genuinely unsure items go in a box with today's date. If untouched in 3–6 months, donate unopened.

After we declutter (which I suspect will take me a month or two), we will get to focus on decorating,

Someday I will show you the progress!

Bye!

Autistic Getting Run Over by the Hype Train

Hello!

I'm an individual who got caught in the attempt of being someone on the internet. I noticed that some shit is not meant for me, or that at least not in the way it is pushed and fed to us. So many rules, and they keep changing. So I've turned to my most authentic self, to my roots that I always fall back on. Blogging. 

So many things happened, of course, life never stops, and this place got preserved with so many cute and hopeful memories from ages ago. A lifetime ago.

Truth is, I got addicted to talking to AI, and I reached the point where I noticed it's all slop. Even using it for organizational skills, it will never be the same as my own trial and error. I feel like I became stupid or something, haha. So, as an attempt to unbrainrotting my guts, here I am. The slow-web life is for me. 

Since I'm back to exploring myself and recognizing who I truly am, let's yap a little bit. These are things I currently notice:

• I have gyaru to thank for regaining my physical confidence; it does give me a boost. I feel like my level of makeup technical skill has been conquered. Of course, there's room for exploration, and I truly want to curate a personal style that makes me feel like "me". However, I fell into the "I want to be a content creator" spiral. This made an internal competition with this invisible standard. I am too fat, too tall, too curvy, too broke for any brand.
• Additionally, I cannot for the life of me wear a freaking wig. So I tend to feel like an incomplete gyaru, and as kids now call it, a "LARPer". Good news is, I have found an IRL community that will help me take my style offline and actually enjoy it like it's meant to be enjoyed. 
  
  
• When I need to mask and navigate the world with a sense of belonging into the self-obsessed sexual rituals of our neurotypical society.... I've fallen into listening to dirty AF reggaeton. Mexican and Chilean Reggaeton, to be exact. So now I'm a neoperreo hardcode fan, because it's also campy and queer. More on my new idols later.
  
  
• I wanna meet my bliss point again. I wanna feel that flow state, which I have not had in many months. So many excuses. I feel at home when I can write, draw, and code without interruption. So we are here, and we are also going to attempt to code and design a cute Neocities website. Do not quote me on the latter. 
  
  
• I need a new perspective on how I interact with social media. I often forget that social media was meant to be social... not to put yourself as an empty mascot and expect to be adored. Yes, growing on TikTok and Instagram has shown me that I fall into the trap of wanting to make a name for myself. So I often get envious of girlies who post just their cute faces and likes pour in the thousands. Again, not trying to say these people don't bring value, but a part of me feels like I'm not good enough. However, we have to acknowledge that I have not been as constant as some people have been. I have to understand that this is no longer sustainable for me, and that I should focus on creating shit I truly love, and the people who also love that shit will come in. I have this infinite desire for community, but then I get blindsided and greedy AF. Turns out I do have an ego, hahahaha.
  
  
  My biggest takeaway is that I am not a product; I am not meant to be consumed. I'm just another autistic human trying to not get run over by the ever-changing hype train. 

Anyways, I'm back here, and I will take my sweet time reading y'all's blogs too. I cannot expect people to care and be my community if I don't also go and support. 

Life lately

Accepting change is necessary as you grow. Keeping yourself smiling and youthful only glows from within. I've embraced that I am not the same that I was a year ago, let alone 10 years ago.

I'm a 31 year old woman now, and I have unraveled my personality and I know in my core that I will keep on changing as I grow older. What won't change is my need to learn, my curiosity, my creativity, and my sense of justice. 

I prioritize my alone time, but also my exposure to art, and building connections with loved ones.

I stopped writing to justify myself, I write and do art for myself... I'm an open book, but inside a library, waiting to be discovered by the wandering eye.

Right now, I'm doing the hard work to better myself, and damn it's a bitch and it hurts, and I cry a lot... specially end up super tired super early... eventually, I wish to regain energy and momentum to do what I love.

Remember, that eventually you can become what you fear the most, and then... true change can be possible to your best self. 

Enough rambling, now I share that I'm working on my fitness and trying out different makeup.... I cannot say I will bid farewell to gyaru, but... so far I'm not motivated to do anything of the sort.

I love my pink aesthetic, lol.

My face looks fuller, like the moon emoji, but I somehow like it.

I've been super busy at work, doing photoshoots for the brand and dying from stress....

XOXO-

 

Digicam Blog #1: My room and my cat

 

I'll revive this for the sake of y2k nostalgia!

I want to use my digicam even more than I do... so I took a couple of shots of my cat Maya chilling with a fluffy purse strap.

She's so photogenic lol

Using the change to show my messy yet aesthetic desk... 

Will keep doing silly little blogs, at least until I get a printer to use these photos in my journal hehe.

XOXO-

Kiwii-tan

V-Tuber in the Making + Weightloss update

Today's update is a collection on random thoughts and things that happened during my week.

Everything is so random, I can't even thing about a title for the post (LOL). 

First of all, I'm so excited to be so frequent with my posts since I've been extra motivated to share my journey. I am happy some people are reading my nonsense and that it's at least entertaining to 2 or 3 people! 

First we have some sort of trend that has been frequent in the Gyaru Go com! We all are in love with making our avatars in pic me crew and such.

You can make yours here 

I have been taking some medication for weight loss as my doctor recommended. At first I was scared about having to do subcutaneous injections daily, but it doesn't really hurt...  I have a long way to go for my weight goal. I just started, it's my second week with the treatment and almost a month since I started working out constantly.

I gotta say this far working out has become part of my routine and I have found some cool dances I want to try with Marla and Reila. 

My progress so far is fruitful, I feel lighter and overall excited to get to a normal size. I really don't care how long it takes me, I am really positive towards this choice I made. 

I am waiting one more month before I do a complete wardrobe change. I have to save and chose what style I want to build on. 

I was planning on what to wear this Sunday since it's Pride in San Diego. I won't party but it seems like a fun summery Cali coord with H&M hibiscus pieces.

Hat and boots found in Alie and the sweater was thrifted.

I like how my legs look in this dress lol. I still got some fire in me somehow 

Let's talk about the artsy side of my week... I got rejected at work with some proposals and it made me a bit sad, but the show must go on.

As for personal work, I have been working on a original character. This is the initial idea I have for a VTuber. I want to go back to streaming at some point and stop thinking too much about it. I started streaming on Twitch 2021, but I ended up having to quit due to some panic attacks I had during my lives. 

Now that I am doing better, I want to plan ahead and star probably when I move to my new place.

Her name is Hime Michi :) and that's all I can share so far. 

I made some logo for her, but it's not completely done. I will prep the files for her character and commission someone to do the rigging. I would love to learn how to rig, but to be honest I don't have the spare time to do so.... Knowing that, the character art is all I can provide. 

I also have to consume more Vtuber content, so please recommend me your fave!

I also have always been questioning which language I should do my streams in... My accent is so thick when I speak English, and Spanish is a bit more familiar to me. However, I live in the States;;;; 

I will soon share my "To do's" and my "wish" list for the stream with you.

I am now going to go! It's bed time and I'm half asleep.

XOXO-